Love Is In The Aroma
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I don’t remember a time when I laughed as hard at a video as I did when my friend sent along one called “Wiener Christmas” or “How to impress your lady on Valentine’s day”…Yes, please watch it as this guy had a very…. “interesting” idea about how to get his lady to have sex with him. I must admit that it just might be every woman’s dream for a guy to wash her car, vacuum the house, or do the dishes, and I applaud him for his effort, ingenuity and ability to make me laugh.
There was apparently a study (I couldn’t find the link to it but per WebMD it exists) that one-third of women age 18-55 have a reduced sex drive. How often did you say I don’t feel like it or the badly overused excuse “I have a headache”? Guess what, that never happens to men. They always want to have sex and even if there’s a physical problem preventing them from doing it (you know what I’m talking about) there’s a magic pill (you know which one I’m talking about).
So, why isn’t there a magic pill for women? It’s not like nobody has tried to find one. I bet if it existed, it would be a bestseller. It’s because women are a lot more complicated. Unlike men, we don’t think about sex all the time, we can’t just shut our brains off and stop thinking about work, kids, laundry, what’s for dinner or going through tomorrow’s to do list for one second during the day, let alone when we put our heads on the pillow.
There may be physical issues, of course, but while men use sex to alleviate stress, for us women, stress is the main reason that prevents us from wanting to have sex in the first place. Stress doesn’t just make us feel tired all the time, it makes us feel agitated, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed and so many other negative feelings. When it comes to sex, how we feel matters more than anything else. I really believe “make up sex” was invented by men because if I’m mad that’s the last thing I want to do. Let me know if that sounds like you?
So, when it comes to women’s emotions and sex there are two things that I found work well.
ESTABLISHING AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
We need to feel emotionally connected. What does that even mean? It means sharing thoughts, emotions and being vulnerable with each other, when you feel like you can tell each other anything. If your partner knows what makes you sad or frustrated and what brings you joy, happiness or makes you smile (and vice versa) it will create an emotional bond. I find that having that kind of connection doesn’t just make your relationship good but it also provides for a good sex life. Unfortunately, that is probably one of the hardest things to do.
USING THE AROMA OF ESSENTIAL OILS
Of course, there’s an essential oil for that and below I’m sharing some essential oils and how you can use them to help spice up your sex life. Ylang Ylang and Ginger are both considered to be aphrodisiacs. Interestingly, Ylang Ylang is often used in perfumery and as an ingredient in Chanel No.5. I love to use citrus oils to uplift the mood and reduce anxious feelings and Bergamot is by far my favorite. It is grown in Italy and has a wonderful and unique sweet citrus aroma.
1. Set up a diffuser in your bedroom and add the essential oils
1 drop of GINGER
2 drops of YLANG YLANG
4 drops of BERGAMOT
2. Make a massage oil
In a 2 oz PET amber bottle combine
6 drops of GINGER
11 drops of YLANG YLANG
23 drops of BERGAMOT
Top it off with jojoba oil.
Note on Bergamot: It is a photosensitizing essential oil, meaning that if you expose your skin to the sun after applying it, it can cause redness. Bergamot FCF (bergaptene free) can be used in natural perfumes or topical applications to avoid photosensitization.
You can find more on photosensitizing essential oils in the guide below.
3. Take a bath
In 2 cups of Epsom salt add
4 drops of GINGER
9 drops of YLANG YLANG
17 drops of BERGAMOT
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